Weekend
Weekend...It used to have this great feeling associated with it, now it doesn't. Don't get me wrong, I love not having to work and just sit around and have no responsibly for a day but its different when there is nothing to keep my mind occupied and it keeps going back to thoughts of things not so great.
Tonight, Friday night, I was home doing nothing. I finally decided to find some dinner at 8:00, and by find I mean drive around until something strikes my fancy. So I drove around for like a hour before coming back. I have nothing to fill my time. I have become this person who does nothing. I was never one to just sit around, I was always the one who wanted to go out, see people, do things. Now I stay in, see no one, and do nothing. Who is this person I am becoming. People at school and church as me what I do on the weekends, I say nothing, and then they get this sad look on their face and tell me they are sorry. How am I supposed to take that? "Oh its okay, I think I might like to become a hermit, its well in the making as of now."
Then there is the other matter, the church. I went to the Board of Elders meeting yesterday, or rather I had to go. Anyhow, I went and was basically told it is not my fault that I can't get anyone to come to Youth Group, it is the church's long time problem. But at the same time there should be a "core group" coming. How many is that? I have no idea and no one has told me. I guess I am supposed to magically know. The church knows no one comes to anything but they don't do anything about it. They have no want to try something new or more contemporary to reach out into the community. I came to this church because I was told that it was an outreach oriented church. AHHH! Everything is so messed up, nothing is what it seemed to be.
While I was driving around tonight I looked up and saw the stars. Instead of thinking how beautiful they were I was bummed because their were no mountains. I miss them so much right now. Last weekend when I went to the Threashing Festival with Bridget we were driving in what looked exactly like Nebraska and she was talking about how this is the part of Colorado she really loved. I almost laughed at her. I don't know how anyone could not love the mountains. It is just beyond me. That's part of the reason I actually like to drive for an hour to go shopping, I at least get to see the montains.
Tonight, Friday night, I was home doing nothing. I finally decided to find some dinner at 8:00, and by find I mean drive around until something strikes my fancy. So I drove around for like a hour before coming back. I have nothing to fill my time. I have become this person who does nothing. I was never one to just sit around, I was always the one who wanted to go out, see people, do things. Now I stay in, see no one, and do nothing. Who is this person I am becoming. People at school and church as me what I do on the weekends, I say nothing, and then they get this sad look on their face and tell me they are sorry. How am I supposed to take that? "Oh its okay, I think I might like to become a hermit, its well in the making as of now."
Then there is the other matter, the church. I went to the Board of Elders meeting yesterday, or rather I had to go. Anyhow, I went and was basically told it is not my fault that I can't get anyone to come to Youth Group, it is the church's long time problem. But at the same time there should be a "core group" coming. How many is that? I have no idea and no one has told me. I guess I am supposed to magically know. The church knows no one comes to anything but they don't do anything about it. They have no want to try something new or more contemporary to reach out into the community. I came to this church because I was told that it was an outreach oriented church. AHHH! Everything is so messed up, nothing is what it seemed to be.
While I was driving around tonight I looked up and saw the stars. Instead of thinking how beautiful they were I was bummed because their were no mountains. I miss them so much right now. Last weekend when I went to the Threashing Festival with Bridget we were driving in what looked exactly like Nebraska and she was talking about how this is the part of Colorado she really loved. I almost laughed at her. I don't know how anyone could not love the mountains. It is just beyond me. That's part of the reason I actually like to drive for an hour to go shopping, I at least get to see the montains.
posted by Tina J @ 11:10 PM
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