my brain is so messed up
So I'm feeling a little unnerved. I feel like my life is not what it should be. The two friends I've had for the longest have these wonderful things going on in their lives. One is getting married this spring, and the other just found out she is pregnant. I am overjoyed for both of them. I love them both and couldn't be happier for them, but it makes me feel, well... like a loser. I live alone, have pretty much no social life, and don't even leave the house on the weekends. I feel pretty pathetic. I don't know why it set me off like this, I feel bad that it did.
I said something to one of my co-workers about it today. Pretty much told her I was going to be alone forever and that my life wasn't going anywhere. She told me not to worry and that her son married a horrible person and I have so much more to offer. That might be true, but I'm never going to meet anyone going from work to home to Target. Seriously, the workers at Target are starting to familiar. I went to this young persons group from the other Lutheran church in town, they are all married and have kids. I really like it here in Idaho Falls, I even bought a house so I'm not going anywhere. I just don't want to stay here alone.
I don't know if its just my brain overreacting, or my heart is sick of being alone, or I'm just such a mess inside. Ahh! I don't know what is going on.
I said something to one of my co-workers about it today. Pretty much told her I was going to be alone forever and that my life wasn't going anywhere. She told me not to worry and that her son married a horrible person and I have so much more to offer. That might be true, but I'm never going to meet anyone going from work to home to Target. Seriously, the workers at Target are starting to familiar. I went to this young persons group from the other Lutheran church in town, they are all married and have kids. I really like it here in Idaho Falls, I even bought a house so I'm not going anywhere. I just don't want to stay here alone.
I don't know if its just my brain overreacting, or my heart is sick of being alone, or I'm just such a mess inside. Ahh! I don't know what is going on.
posted by Tina J @ 9:46 PM
1 Comments:
At 2:47 PM,
lubke-moss said…
You know what Melly, I think everyone goes through that phase sometimes. I know I have - except I went through it with friends. I feel like my life is like a little hamster wheel sometimes too. Every time around the wheel is the same. I don't get out much either, and it is SO hard to find friends (or in your case dateworthy people). If they are your age, they have absolutely nothing in common with me, and if I do find people I have something in common with, they are usually in their 50's. Not that there is anything wrong with people in their 50's, but it's just not the same.
I have the "my life is a boring sack of crap" breakdown about 3 or 4 times a year. :) It's hard to do sometimes, but I think, for me, that God is trying to teach me about contentment, and to focus on all the blessings He has poured over me.
I'll keep you in my prayers Melly. Don't worry, "this too shall pass". I hope you have a great weekend. Talk to you soon.
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